You are here: Home / Archives for manhood
post

Practical Ways a Man can Lead His Family

February 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment

As men, we bear a greater burden before God for the well-being of our families and our church. Our wives and children should flourish under our loving leadership.

By the grace of God, you can be who God has called you to be, do what God has called you to do, and love as God has loved you.

As men, we will never in this life experience perfection, but by the grace of God we can experience progress every day until we enter perfection in the life to come. So don’t sulk, don’t sin, and don’t settle, but instead strive.

Here are 11 practical tips for husbands to strive to lead their family well:

1. As the family leader, model humility, honesty, repentance, service, study, and worship. Your life preaches at least as loudly as your words, so teach and model humble godliness by the grace of God.

2. Make sure everyone in your family has a good, age-appropriate Bible that they regularly read. Read the Bible yourself and with them so they are encouraged to read on their own.

3. Make sure you have some basic Bible study tools available for your family in either print or digital form and that everyone learns to use them. If you do not know where to begin, ask your pastor or a godly student of Scripture in your church about things like a good Bible commentary, concordance, dictionary, and atlas.

4. Buy good Christian books for everyone in your family to read. Include Christian biographies among those books.

5. Choose good books that you and your wife can be reading together, including books of the Bible, and discuss what you are learning.

6. If there are Bible-based classes offered in your church, attend with your family.

7. Redeem your commute by listening to good sermons and classes, many of which you can download for free.

8. Have dinner together with your family most nights, and use that time to pray together, keep a journal log of prayer requests for other people, and read a portion of the Bible and talk about it together.

9. Pray for each member of your family every day and let them know you are praying for them.

10. Place a hand on the head of each of your children every day and pray over them. Then kiss them on the head and make sure they often get a loving hug.

11. While either snuggling or holding hands, pray with and for your wife every day and remember to include the reasons you are thankful to God for her that day. If these things have not been common in your home, it is very likely that your family has been aching for them and will be thankful for your loving leadership as the head of your home.

Pastor Mark Driscoll is the founding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington and is one of the world’s most-downloaded and quoted pastors.

Filed Under: leadership, manhood
post

Biblical Manhood: Man’s Blueprint

January 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

My talk on Biblical Manhood at Music Museum:

 

Filed Under: Jesus Christ, manhood
post

Producers not Consumers

January 15, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Men you are defined by what you produce and not what you consume. Men we are created to leave a legacy but if we act as consumers rather than producers we leave nothing but problems.

Most men live their lives taking in. What can I get from the girl? What can I consume? We have passed the buck to be responsible to our wife, fiancee or girlfriend. A huge chunk of what we earn as men goes to toys or our hobby instead of our future. Nothing wrong with stuff and video games but to do things in excess and to prioritize that to our future then it is not wise.

Make it your goal this year to stop acting like a consumer but choose to produce.

Start a savings account, find a job that could afford you to feed your wife and kids, do some strategic planning over your life.

Filed Under: manhood
post

Top 10 Act Like a Man Posts of 2011

December 31, 2011 By 1 Comment

Here are the top 10 blogs of 2011. Thank you for reading Act Like a Man Blogs

1. My Fiancee’s ex girlfriend can’t get over her past.

2. Lessons from Kung Fu Panda 2

3. How to Pursue a Godly Spouse

4. Should I allow a Non Christian to Court me?

5. The Love bug Bit Me

6. What Women are Looking for?

7. The Myth of God’s Perfect Choice

8. Long Term Relationships

9. Never Assume

10. A Man’s Love Story

 

Check out my top 10 blog posts from the clueless church planter site

 

Filed Under: manhood
post

Soft Effiminate Christianity

December 20, 2011 By Leave a Comment

A blog post by Tim Challies

I came across this quote by Horatius Bonar and thought it was worth sharing. Bonar is warning against a kind of soft and, in his word, effeminate Christianity, that may come about when Christians are too afraid to fight for what is right and to protest against what is wrong.

For there is some danger of falling into a soft and effeminate Christianity, under the plea of a lofty and ethereal theology. Christianity was born for endurance…It walks with firm step and erect frame; it is kindly, but firm; it is gentle, but honest; it is calm, but not facile; obliging, but not imbecile; decided, but not churlish. It does not fear to speak the stern word of condemnation against error, nor to raise its voice against surrounding evils, under the pretext that it is not of this world.

It does not shrink from giving honest reproof lest it come under the charge of displaying an unchristian spirit. It calls sin ‘sin,’ on whomsoever it is found, and would rather risk the accusation of being actuated by a bad spirit than not discharge an explicit duty. Let us not misjudge strong words used in honest controversy. Out of the heat a viper may come forth; but we shake it off and feel no harm.

The religion of both Old and New Testaments is marked by fervent outspoken testimonies against evil. To speak smooth things in such a case may be sentimentalism, but it is not Christianity. It is a betrayal of the cause of truth and righteousness. If anyone should be frank, manly, honest, cheerful (I do not say blunt or rude, for a Christian must be courteous and polite), it is he who has tasted that the Lord is gracious, and is looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God.

I know that charity covereth a multitude of sins; but it does not call evil good, because a good man has done it; it does not excuse inconsistencies, because the inconsistent brother has a high name and a fervent spirit. Crookedness and worldliness are still crookedness and worldliness, though exhibited in one who seems to have reached no common height of attainment.

Filed Under: Jesus Christ, manhood
post

You just got to do it

November 28, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I find it hard to approach the girl whom I like while inside the office, I feel I’m in a boxed where everyone is watching on me. She is busy so I find it hard to ask her out, What should else can I do?

I’m struggling with apathy and laziness. I’ve been praying for it everyday. It’s hard to overcome. What should I do?

Pastor, i have difficulty improving my personality, I’ve read a lot of books about self development but I didn’t get the result even I applied it already. I always ended up being a shy type of person. What should I do?

I just don’t know how to invite a girl to go out with me, I’m scared to ask her face to face.. is there anything I can do besides improving my self confidence?

So many questions can be answered with this statement:

YOU JUST GOT TO DO IT. If you don’t nothing will happen. Men are to be risk takers. Men are to be challenged to get out of their comfort zone. Sometimes you have to stop praying and just do it. We were given the mantle of leadership thus we hold on to God’ grace and move in faith to act like men and just do what is expected of us.

 

Filed Under: Attitude, manhood, question and answer
post

Man Up

November 28, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Filed Under: manhood
post

DUDE, Where’s your Bride????

November 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Kevin De Young

As I speak at different venues across the country, one of the recurring questions I get comes from women, young women in particular. Their question usually goes something like this: “What is up with men?”

These aren’t angry women. Their question is more plaintive than petulant. I’m not quite sure why they ask me. Maybe because they’ve read Just Do Something and figure I’ll be a sympathetic ear. Or maybe they think I can help. They often follow up their initial question by exhorting me, “Please speak to the men in our generation and tell them to be men.”

They’re talking about marriage. I have met scores of godly young women nearby and far away who wonder “Where have all the marriageable men gone?” More and more commentators–Christian or otherwise–are noticing a trend in young men; namely, that they don’t seem to be growing up. Recently, William Bennett’s CNN article “Why Men Are in Trouble” has garnered widespread attention. The point of the post is summarized in the final line: “It’s time for men to man up.” Sounds almost biblical (1 Corinthians 16:13).

Virtually every single single person I know wants to be married. And yet, it is taking couples longer and longer to get around to marriage. Education patterns have something to do with it. A bad economy doesn’t help either. But there is something even more befuddling going on. Go to almost any church and you’ll meet mature, intelligent, attractive Christian women who want to get married and virtually no men to pursue them. These women are often in graduate programs and may have started a career already. But they aren’t feminists. They are eager to embrace the roles of wife and mother. Most of the women I’ve met don’t object to the being a helpmate. There just doesn’t seem to be a lot of mates to go around.

What’s going on here? Why are there so many unmarried, college graduated, serious-about-Christ, committed-to-the-church, put-together young women who haven’t found a groom, and don’t see any possibilities on the horizon?

Maybe women have impossible standards. That is a distinct possibility in some circumstances. I’m sure there are guys reading this thinking to themselves, “I’ve pursued these young women, Kevin! And they pushed me over the edge of the horizon.” Some women may be expecting too much from Mr. Right. But in my experience this is not the main problem. Impossible standards? Not usually. Some standards? Absolutely.

On the other end of the spectrum, some women may be so over-eager to be married they make guys nervous about showing any signs of interest. There is a fine line between anticipation and desperation. Men don’t want to spot the girl they like inside David’s Bridal after their first date. The guy will panic–and be a little creeped out.

This path of prolonged singleness is a two way street. But I think the problem largely resides with men. Or at least as a guy I can identify the problems of men more quickly. I see two issues.

First, the Christian men that are “good guys” could use a little–what’s the word I’m looking for–ambition. Every pastor has railed on video games at some point. But the problem is not really video games, it’s what gaming can (but doesn’t always) represent. It’s the picture of a 20something or 30something guy who doesn’t seem to want anything out of life. He may or may not have a job. He may or may not live with his parents. Those things are sometimes out of our control. There’s a difference between a down-on-his-luck fella charging hard to make something out of himself and a guy who seems content to watch movies, make enough to eat frozen pizzas in a one room apartment, play Madden, watch football 12 hours on Saturday, show up at church for an hour on Sunday and then go home to watch more football.

I don’t think young women are expecting Mr. Right to be a corporate executive with two houses, three cars, and a personality like Dale Carnegie. They just want a guy with some substance. A guy with plans. A guy with some intellectual depth. A guy who can winsomely take initiative and lead a conversation. A guy with consistency. A guy who no longer works at his play and plays with his faith. A guy with a little desire to succeed in life. A guy they can imagine providing for a family, praying with the kids at bedtime, mowing the lawn on Saturday, and being eager to take everyone to church on Sunday. Where are the dudes that will grow into men?

The second issue is that we may simply not have enough men in the church. Maybe the biggest problem isn’t with nice Christian guys who lack ambition, maturity, and commitment. Maybe we have lots of these men in the church, but they’re all married and there aren’t enough of their brethren to go around. I don’t know which is the bigger problem, the lack of good men or the lack of men in general. It’s probably a combination of both. The church needs to train up the guys it has. And by “training” I don’t mean “clean ‘em up, plug ‘em in the singles ministry and start matching them up with a spouse.” I don’t believe most unmarried Christians are looking for a church community full of Yentas. But a church full of godly, involved, respectable, respected, grown up men? That’s a project worth undertaking.

So, what can be done about the growing tribe of unmarried women? Four things come to mind.

Everyone, pray. Pray for a joyful accepting of God’s providential care, believing that godliness with contentment is great gain.  If you are single, pray more for the sort of spouse you should be than for the sort of spouse you want. Pray also for the married couples and families in your church. If you are married, pray for the single people in your church, for those never married and those divorced or widowed. All people everywhere, pray for ways to start serving the Lord now, no matter what stage of life you are in or wish you were in.

Women, don’t settle and don’t ever compromise on requiring solid Christian commitment in a husband, but make sure your list of non-negotiables doesn’t effectively exclude everyone outside of Mr. Darcy.

Churches, don’t make church one giant man cave or machismo, but think about whether your church has been unnecessarily emasculated. Do you challenge and exhort? Do you sing songs to Jesus that men can sing with a straight face? Does “fellowship” at your church always focus on activities men don’t typically excel at, like sitting around and talking about how you feel? Does your church specifically target the discipling of men–particularly young men in high school and college? Grab them young and get them growing up in their teens instead of their twenties.

Men, you don’t have to be rich and you don’t have to climb corporate ladders. You don’t have to fix cars and grow a beard. But it’s time to take a little initiative–in the church, with your career, and with women. Stop circling around and start going somewhere. It’s probably a good idea to be more like your grandpa and less like Captain Jack Sparrow. Even less like Peter Pan. Show some godly ambition. Take some risks. Stop looking for play dates and–unless God is calling you to greater service through singleness–start looking for a wife.

Filed Under: manhood, marriage
post

How to Stop Dirty Thinking and Temptation

November 2, 2011 By 1 Comment

Answering two questions today:

How do you stop yourself from thinking ‘dirty’ things? I mean, we can control ourselves from our actions but how about our minds?

Pastor we are getting married soon and now we are tempted to lust.We love God so much but still we failed to resist the temptation to save sex before marriage. How to win over this temptation?
I think you can never stop the enemy from tempting you. Temptation is a test of our faith in Christ. It is to see where we find our sufficiency. People get into sin/lust/ addiction over porn because they think it would bring them joy, happiness and satisfaction but after they commit the act, they feel dirty and stupid for doing such a thing.
If you observe and analyze, people get into sin because of the idols in their hearts. Instead of looking to Christ for satisfaction and happiness, they choose the things of this world to satisfy them. The bad news is that what the world offers will never truly satisfy. That is why after committing pre-marital sex, the couple is bound to do it again because it is never enough. They go on a cycle of sin- thinking that it can fulfill them. Same goes with masturbation. Some men say they do it for the release of sexual tension. Yeah right!!! It does not release sexual tension – it heightens it more because man’s sinful nature is never contented.
He tries to fill it up with the wrong things. So what is the answer:
Psalm 119:9-11
 9How can(A) a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. 10(B) With my whole heart I seek you;   let me not(C) wander from your commandments! 11I have(D) stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
The Scripture says that we need to fill our minds with the words of God. Pursue Christ who fulfills all our needs. I think John Piper hits it in the head when he wrote in his book “Desiring God”
I know of no other way to triumph over sin long term than to gain a distaste for it because of a superior satisfaction in God.
Got questions? Post it at my formspring site, http://www.formspring.me/askpastordennis
Filed Under: manhood, masturbation, question and answer, responsibility
post

The King and the Tyrant

October 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Men are hardwired to lead. We are made to be kings. Scripture and history gives us pictures of kings. Some are passive kings that abdicated their power and remain passive while others lean on the other side and rule with tyranny.

A tyrant king is a man who rules with an iron fist. He feels he needs to put his weight around to show everyone who is the boss. He usually quotes the verse, Wives submit to your husband because he leads by putting guilt on his wife and kids. A tyrant kings expects the wife to be his maidservant. He demands and he never serves. He sits on his throne and watches the Cable TV. He shouts at his kids who don’t grant his wishes. He is an impatient man.

A tyrant king never guides his kids. He orders them. He strikes his wife, beats her up and exercises male dominion over her. He feels satisfied knowing HE IS THE KING. He is not under authority to Christ or any other authority. He breeds fear because he himself is afraid. Afraid that one day, they would fight back. One day his weakness will be exposed and challenged head on. Peel off the layer of his manhood and what you really see is a coward who picks a fight with people who he knows cannot fight back.

Blog Idea inspired by the book Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart by Stu Weber

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Filed Under: manhood
« Older Posts