Here are my notes from the talk and from his life:

Your ability and your disability is something God can use. Never waste your life by thinking you cannot be used of God.

We are not as powerful as we think we are but we have a God who is unstoppable and that is what matters. No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Learn to rest. Don’t try to be the hero. Nic traveled and was on the plane 150 times a year that he crashed after 4 years of ministry. God had to remind him to put his strength on God. God is our strength.

Men, if we do our jobs well and lead our family and take leadership – we will see change happen. Treasure your family.

God never answered the prayer I wanted. I asked for arms and legs but it never appeared but God has a greater purpose for why this happened. Now it doesn’t matter if Nic has arms or legs – it won’t stop him from fulfilling God’s call for his life.

B.U.S.Y. means Being Under Satan’s Yoke. Most of us say we are busy when it comes to God. Busy means this is not my priority. Until you come to the point that you know all you need is in Christ – whether with arms and legs or no arms and legs – you will always make something/ someone else your priority.

You can get Nic Vujicic’s book in any House of Praise stores or if you prefer to buy an ebook version in Amazon, here are the title links:

Unstoppable: The Incredible Power of Faith in Action

Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life

Thank you Becca Music for bringing Nic Vujicic to the Philippines. And also shout out to the front act speaker of the event who did an amazing job of encouraging Filipinos to take charge of their financial health and freedom, Randell Tiongson.

The good book says “The heart is deceitful above all things…“ (Jer 17:9) This is probably the reason why we buy stuff we already know we can’t afford or don’t really need – simply because we feel like buying it.

We all tend to make “emotional choices” all the time – instead of logical ones.

But here’s the most important part…

The heart is also the “well spring of life.“ When our heart is in the right condition, you can expect good things to flow from it.

Editor’s Note: Check out Yeng Remulla’s site, click here to a new productive YOU.

Rate yourself in 5 categories from 1-10. (1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest):

1) In your Family. (As a son, father, mother, sibling, etc).

2) In your work/studies/business.

3) As a friend.

4) As a Citizen (Filipino).

5) As a Human Being.

He says that our rating can differ but there are two things that should remain the same; two things that should never change. The last category, as a human being should be the highest. And it should never be less than a 10.

As a human being, we are a 10…Always!!! It is your self-worth, it is how you should put value on yourself. No matter how much money you have in the bank account, no matter how many friends you have, no matter who you are…you are a 10!

The flipside is that you should also look at everyone as a 10…no matter who they are. Everyone is important in the eyes on God, what makes you feel that we have a better view of people than Him?

What happened to you is the past. But your value is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Here’s one last tip: If your goal is to add value in the lives of people, you will always be valuable!”

Editor’s Note: Check out the newly designed website of author and speaker Jayson Lo, click here

Communication is key to any relationship. And part of communication is not just talking but also listening. One of my challenges is when Thammie tells me about a problem she is facing. I need to remember that women talk about their problems or problems in general to get close and not necessarily to get solutions from us men. Generally, she wants to share her thoughts, feelings and opinions on issues while we think helping and interrupting her by offering solution and your thoughts helps. It doesn’t. ( I did make a thousands of mental notes about this but I keep repeating the same mistake)

According to John Gray, author of the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication,women tend to resist man’s solution because what she needs was a shoulder to cry on or an empathetic ear.

Have you ever tried giving the following solutions and it made it even worst:

- you shouldn’t worry

- it’s not a big deal

- move on, its a brand new day.

- but you shouldn’t feel that way.

- I got it, this is what you should do.

- sobrang simple naman ng problema mo, ano ka ba?

- from now on, I will handle it.

- faster girl, get to the point!

NOTE TO MEN and MYSELF:

I need to remind myself that I am not Mr Fix it Dennis. Thammie wants a listening Dennis who will empathize with her and not offer quick solutions.

Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.

– Robert Fulghum

Fathers, our words and actions should work hand in hand.

You cannot say I love you but spend all your time working, playing golf or doing nothing to communicate you do.

You cannot say don’t smoke while you smoke.

Don’t say “Choose your friends wisely”, when you have friends that keeps you from achieving success and Christ like character.

Our children sees how we act. It is far more significant for them to see how you act than what you say. For them, talk is cheaper. We have to walk the talk.

An interesting story from my mentor Ferdie Cabiling who was then a youth pastor. A father went to him and said ,”My kids go to church, they go to your youth group but how come they are still acting that way.” With conviction, Ferdie said, ” Maybe there is a BIGGER MONKEY in the house.

MONKEY SEE-MONKEY DO.

]]> http://www.actlikeaman.org/monkey-monkey/feed/ 0 http://www.actlikeaman.org/relationship-how-you-say/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=relationship-how-you-say http://www.actlikeaman.org/relationship-how-you-say/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 01:00:47 +0000 Val Baguios http://www.actlikeaman.org/?p=5998 [Title inspired by Perry Noble's preaching on Adam and Eve: Four Things Every Man Must Know About A Woman]

taken from: writingourselveswhole.org

It’s been a while since I had the time to write here. Our schedule’s been tight recently. Me and my fiancee, Cha, are less than a month’s time to our wedding, we’re both excited but at the same time tasks left and right are pushing us to our limits too. But I just have to share one of the biggest lesson on communication I learned during this season…

It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.

The idea isn’t new, you may think you know this already- I thought so too! But the pressures of time, money, etc. caught me by surprise, I realized that I tend to go back to my default sarcastic, or brutally frank way of saying things. You see, I always expect that when I talk to a person he or she should understand my intentions first. Sometimes, I want them to listen to me with just pure logic,and if needed, no emotions. I think I’ve read somewhere that men has the ability to “compartmentalize” their brains. To somehow separate the words and the emotions. I thought the same principle could apply when I talk to her. I was wrong!

One example was when we were talking about our wedding invites’ design. I had some comments about how I wanted it to look. Considering our time and budget constraints, I was quite disappointed that the look I want did not appear in the first few sample prints. So I gave my (brutally) honest criticisms and I repeatedly (over) emphasized our deadlines. I raised my voice and gave a few look of disappointments on my face. Of course we both want this to be excellent. But while I was giving my comments, I didn’t realize that I was already hurting her. After a long debate, I ended up apologizing, stated a few compromises and left the designing up to her- the end result? A beautifully done invitation! What’s funny was that, her ideas were right all along.

Sometimes, in the pursuit of our perceived “total excellence”, we forget to be human- that we are talking to people with emotions. Especially women. Sure, delivering your statements “raw” may be the fastest thing to do- but fast doesn’t always mean “safe”, is it? I think men ought to learn the art of saying things with grace. It’s hard when you have to drive a point, and you have to drive it quick. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if she got your point or not. The question is, did she feel loved?

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. – Ephesians 4:15, NIV

Men were called to lead the relationship, yes. But we were commanded to love too. If those two don’t go hand in hand, I think we fail altogether.

I know that it might take years for me to learn to “edit” the words I say and how I say it- but, heck, I have a lifetime to spend with her anyway. The sooner I learn how to instruct, commend, criticize, or even rebuke in love, the better it would be for the both of us. But the truth is, I can fail her indefinitely, and that is the reason why I can never take Jesus out of the equation. All other things can leave me burned out- and in the end, He is the only one who can fill me up again with the love and understanding that I need to keep this relationship going for another day.

 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Col 3:19. NIV.

Thank you sa pagmamahal mo sa pamilya natin. Ibang klase yung pinakita mong tiyaga at sipag sa pag aruga sa mga anak natin. Hindi ko mapapantayan ang ginawa mong pag alaga kela Alyanna, Mika at Isaiah.

Nagpapasalamat ako kay Lord kasi ang lakas mo. Ang lakas mo sa kanya at literal na malakas ka physically at emotionally. Yung pinagdaanan natin kay Isaiah nung December at January, kulang kulang ata isang linggo lang ang tulog mo pero nakuha mo pa rin asikasuhin ang buong pamilya. Para kang superwoman. Thank you Lord sa grace mo kay Thammie.

Thammie hindi ka lang mabuting ina, mabuting asawa ka din. Pero di ko na eenumerate dito kasi Mother’s day naman. Reserve ko na lang yun sa birthday mo or sa wedding anniversary yun. I love you Thammie.

Happy Mother’s Day. You are the best mom ever because you play with me and read books for me. I love you very very much – Alyanna

Mommy, I love you happy Mother’s day. I love you because you are my mommy. That’s it! – Mikaela

Visit Thammie’s Site: http://thammiesy.com/

Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thammiesy

Like her page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThammieSyOfficial?fref=ts

Whether it’s in singing, in sports, or in business, that’s how most people look at their own capability. As if it’s a yes or no proposition.

There’s a tendency for us to walk away from our giftings simply because we think that we don’t have it in us.

Yes, you have certain skills that are obvious. But you may also have a hidden gifting that is disguised as a mere potential.

We fail to see it because it’s still raw and needs a lot of work.

Oftentimes, honing this potential is the key to open up new opportunities.

If you think you have one, own it and then hone it.

What’s that thing that you can develop?

1. Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

How are parents to raise children so they don’t become Pharisees (legalists) or prodigals (rebels)? It’s all about grace-filled, gospel-driven parenting, says the mother/daughter team of Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. Christian parents, in their desire to raise godly children, can drift toward rule-centered discipline. There is, however, a far more effective method—a grace-motivated approach that begins with the glorious truth of God’s love for sinners.

In Give Them Grace, parents will learn how to connect the benefits of the cross—especially regeneration, adoption, and justification—to their children’s daily lives. Chapters address topics such as our inability to follow the law perfectly, God’s forgiveness and love displayed at the cross, and what true heart obedience looks like. Fitzpatrick and Thompson also discuss discipline, dealing with popular culture, and evangelism as a way of life. Parents will find this book a great resource for raising grace-filled, Jesus-loving kids.

2. Shepherding a Child’s Heart

“With the plethora of material on parenting and the family, it is inspiring-and distressing-to see how few books are genuinely biblical. Here is a refreshing exception. Tedd Tripp offers solid, trustworthy, biblical help for parents. If you are looking for the right perspective, and practical help, you won’t find a more excellent guide.” -Pastor John MacArthur “Dr. Tripp’s material on parenting is the clearest, most biblically framed, and most helpful that I have ever encountered. It has become the the backbone of my own parenting. I am not alone, either. His seminar tapes are by far the most frequently requested biblical teaching materials among my students, counselees, and friends.” – Dr. Edward Welch, Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation

But if mommy is not into books, try browsing Mother’s Day Gifts for some last minute shopping.

Mama – thank you for loving me. Your love has shaped me and molded me to be the man I am today. I never thought how your love has such a huge impact me but thinking about it now, I realized that you have in so many ways made me who I am today.

Thank you for teaching me about the value of time. Growing up I never understood why you exaggerate about time. “Dennis, gising na!!! 830am na!!! Ma lalate ka sa office!!!” when in reality it is just 730am. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung advance lang yung watch mo or exaggerated ka talaga. But because of that I am never late for work.

Thank you for teaching me about business. You and papa showed me how hard work + being business savvy pays off. Thank you because you never just told me that I need to work, work, work but that I also have to love work.

Thank you for showing me the power of touch. You might not be expressive with words or you don’t actually hug us much – you express your touch in a different loving way. Thank you dahil kahit binata na ako tinatanggal mo pa rin yung bilog bilog sa likod ko atsaka nililinis mo pa rin tenga namin. Yun lang nga di ko alam na kailangan din pala linisin ang pusod. Anyway, buti na lang mahilig din si Thammie maglinis ng tenga at pusod ko. At dahil sa iyo, nagtatanggal na rin siya ng mga bilog bilog sa likod ko.

Lastly, thank you mama for showing to us Jesus. Thank you because you brought us to church kahit dati hindi ka sumasama pero alam mo kailangan namin mag church. Siguro ganun ka ka desperado sa amin dahil lagi kami nag-aaway kaya pinadala mo kami sa church pero dahil doon nakilala namin si Lord and then eventually you followed also and met the Lord. Thank you for showing us discipleship at home.

I am blessed to have a Mom like you. Sana lahat ng nanay katulad mo. Happy Mother’s Day