The Myth of God’s Perfect Choice (GPC)

Posted by Dennis on October 14, 2011 | 16 Comments »

Posted in: Dating and Courtship, Question and Answer

I know this entry might sound heretical to most of my Christian readers because we have been so accustomed to hear preachers talk about GPC ( God’s perfect choice) for our lives. Women for the longest time waits for their GPC to come. Men have tried so much to be the GPC of the girl they want.

I don’t know where we got the idea of GPC. Who invented it and if the term really is valid. Here is a question posted on my formspring account that validates the phenomena of the God’s Perfect Choice Theology or “THE ONE”

hi pastor, there’s this guy who has been upfront about his feelings for me, thing is, i don’t feel anything for him. He is a christian. How would I know if he is the guy that God planned for me? I’m afraid I’m letting go of “the one”

How will I know if HE IS THE ONE?

To tell you honestly, we will never know “THE ONE”. We are not OMNISCIENT to know. Now God might try to confirm it through His word, other godly people in your life but to be sure of God’s perfect choice – I doubt if we really will know and I doubt if there is such a thing as God’s Perfect Choice. Here is why I think GPC is a myth:


When I courted Thammie, I didn’t know if she was the one. The only time I knew she was the one was when the pastor said I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE. There are also days that a spouse might look at the person he/she has married and doubt whether the person was God’s perfect choice for him/her but they remain in their marriage and build their marriage because their love is not based on a feeling or emotion or a spiritual gut feel but a decision.

2. The Scripture shows us that we were not the perfect candidate for the AGAPE kind of love.

We were not GPC when it comes to our relationship with God. In fact we were sinners worthy of death and hell but what did God do. He loved us ( my point#1) and gave His Son Jesus to die for us. Labeling someone as GPC is putting too much expectations. Thammie didn’t know if I was GPC for her but she made a decision to love me and she credits the grace of God to submit under my leadership – why? Because I am not PERFECT!!! Same thing with me – Thammie might be beautiful but she is not perfect. There were crazy expectations I had in our first few years of marriage. In my mind, if she really was my GPC – this should not be happening but that is where we experienced the grace and the love of God.

3. How in the world would you know your GPC or if he/she is the ONE?

We can’t. We are too finite to know. We can only trust God. Now there are guidelines that we follow to choose the person we are going to marry but once the decision is made – you can’t undo it.

I have talked to hurting women who thought that the guy that pursued and love them was GPC. After getting married, the man that was supposed to be GPC transformed.  What happened to the man that I married? He became God’s Perfect Curse!!!!

It goes back to the decision we made. Stick with your decision to love the man/woman you chose- his imperfections, stupidity and pimples unless there is an abuse going on that deserves the intervention of the church and the government.

4. Is it really God’s list or your list?

Some people wait for their GPC to show up till the day they die. The reason is that they already made a list of their own preferences. I asked a girl what time what she was looking for in a man. She said, “He must be sensitive, always listening, will take care of me, caring, thoughtful, loving, kind and etc”… After describing to me her GPC, I concluded that the perfect man is a woman.



Dennis Sy is the editor in chief of Act Like a Man and the Senior Pastor of Victory Greenhills. Husband to Thammie Sy, and father to three wonderful kids. You can follow his tweets @DennisSy or follow him in Facebook. Dennis is also the author of the best selling book, " Rich for Life: Secrets of Those Who Stayed Rich for Life and How You Can be One

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16 Comments on “The Myth of God’s Perfect Choice (GPC)”

  1. 1 cheche said at 6:46 am on October 15th, 2011:

    There is no Prince Charming!!!!!!!! Wake up! Get Real! Trust God! Dont look for your GPC! You have to check your heart first and trust God acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight!

  2. 2 Teci said at 4:24 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Indeed, there’s no perfect man nor woman, and we are so finite and clueless. But I believe we can ask God to guide us in the perfect choice (His will, His best) – in relationships, in career, in life. Like you said, “Is it really God’s list or your list?” Saying “we will never know” closes the door to God’s “Spirit of wisdom and revelation.”

    More power Pastor Dennis! :)

  3. 3 Top 10 Act Like a Man Posts of 2011 | Act Like a Man said at 8:58 pm on December 31st, 2011:

    […] 7. The Myth of God’s Perfect Choice […]

  4. 4 Is she God’s Perfect Will | Notes of an Imperfect Christian said at 10:03 pm on January 29th, 2012:

    […] suggest you read Pastor Dennis’ blog in its entirety, he has wonderful and practical points there that I don’t want to […]

  5. 5 You never Marry the Right Person | Act Like a Man said at 7:40 am on February 2nd, 2012:

    […] wrote a blog on THE MYTH OF GOD’S PERFECT CHOICE last year that had mix reviews and as I am reading the book “The meaning of Marriage” […]

  6. 6 ichu said at 6:44 pm on February 4th, 2012:

    This is true. thanks pastor for those enlightening words. ^^ God bless you and your ministry.

  7. 7 Edwin said at 1:26 pm on April 26th, 2013:

    Here in our our office, there are alot of single ladies and quite a few are already past their prime but are still desiring and waiting. I often tease them when they talk about how this is the kind of guy I know God wants for me or they say God wants the best for me and this is God’s best for me and they enumerate all the usual qualities, handsome, kind, spiritual, etc. I then butt in and ask, what if those qualities are not God’s will for you? How would you know? Almost all will vehemently argue against it. Which makes me agree with your argument Ptr. Dennis. They are still waiting and most probably have let the “right guy” pass. 8-(

  8. 8 Roel Layug said at 11:34 pm on June 27th, 2013:

    Ftw yung last statement! Haha!

  9. 9 A.B said at 1:49 pm on February 24th, 2014:

    Ito dapat binabasa ng mga kabataan ngayon :) every time I visit group pages on Facebook and see all the posts of teenagers looking for a short time bf/gf, nakakabasag ng puso. Ano bang preference ng mga kabataang ito when it comes to finding a gf/bf? I pray na sana marealize nila na they deserve more than that.

  10. 10 Angelo said at 2:55 pm on February 24th, 2014:

    “After describing to me his GPC, I concluded that the perfect man is a woman.” mismo! haha galing.

  11. 11 TYMNZHA said at 3:06 pm on February 24th, 2014:

    I have always believe in love, it’s good and bad. But loving a person everyday is a decision we decide to make inspite he/she is not GPC ;)

  12. 12 Joey Rafae said at 7:07 pm on February 24th, 2014:

    1 Corinthians 2:9-12 But as it is written:“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
    But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.

    “that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God,”
    Hearing from the HS will lead you to the right person. How to hear from the HS? Intimacy with Jesus. Intimacy sharpens spiritual ears.
    Focus on the man Jesus, and He will you show you the man or woman you are to spend the rest of your life with.
    Just saying……

  13. 13 OCLang said at 1:37 pm on February 25th, 2014:

    sorry po, comment lang dun sa last sentence di po ba dapat

    “After describing to me her GPC, I concluded that the perfect man is a woman”? nice article btw. ;)

  14. 14 Thirteen Reasons Why… | Of Love and Freedom said at 3:03 pm on February 25th, 2014:

    […] a common term in our church HAHA GC = God’s Choice. Anyway, yesterday, I got to read this blog post of Pastor Dennis Sy about the Myth of God’s Perfect Choice and suddenly, things made sense. […]

  15. 15 Regina said at 12:15 am on February 26th, 2014:

    HAHA! I love this statement/
    “After describing to me his GPC, I concluded that the perfect man is a woman”

  16. 16 Teci said at 11:48 pm on February 26th, 2014:

    Agree with Joey (comment #12). People are not perfect but we can seek God’s perfect will including for marriage.

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